Making goals in marriage
At the end of the year, my husband and I usually take some time to think about our goals for the new year. This is separate to any goals we have as individuals. Here are some categories we split our marriage goals into:
Health and well-being. Of course everyone wants to be healthier in the new year, and we are no different! Each year, we think about what we would like to improve in terms of our health and well-being, and this could be anything from increasing exercise (e.g. going for a walk together once a week), to introducing one vegetarian meal a week to our meal plan. We find that having joint quantifiable health and well-being goals gives us added motivation and helps us to be accountable to each other.
Financial. It is often said that money is one of the main reasons that marriages break up. Well, we don't want that to be our story. So, we try to be very open with each other about our finances and one of the ways we do this is to have financial goals. When we consider our financial goals for the year, we look at where we want our finances to be by the end of the year. We do this by discussing and writing down things like how much we want to be able to save by a particular time of the year and what this translates to each month. We also discuss any known major upcoming expenditures and write down how we plan to meet them. We also include our goals for giving- tithes, charity etc. Having these things written down, again, helps us to be accountable, but also enables effective planning on how to meet these goals.
Joint Ministry. Before I got married I prayed for someone that I would be able to serve together with in ministry. I feel it is important for a husband and wife to serve together in some way or the other as this is one way that we fulfil purpose as a couple. I would encourage couples to seek God about which area of service He is calling them to, and follow His leading. Serving together helps you to grow as a couple- you learn more about each other, learn to work as a team, and there is just something about knowing that you're doing kingdom work together with the person God has partnered you with. When we plan our joint ministry goals, we think about what we're currently doing, and what we want to do in the future. We ask the Holy Spirit to guide us as we pursue new adventures so that we know that whatever we're doing is what He wants us to do.
Developing intimacy. Yes, we have intimacy goals! For us this is really about how we can grow closer to each other as husband and wife. We write down ideas for date nights, holidays, fun activities, romance, and yes, sex! We know each other's love languages so we try to incorporate that into our plans for intimacy. We want to be intentional about building our marriage and find that when we write these things down, and review them regularly, we are more likely to fulfil them.
Spiritual. This is actually separate from ministry goals. By spiritual goals here we mean goals that help us draw closer to God as a couple. We have also found that as we draw closer to God, we are drawn closer to each other. Some of our spiritual goals include checking in with each other on a regular (weekly) basis to talk about how we're doing with our faith and praying together regularly during the week. We then plan how we can make sure that this happens, e.g. by setting reminders on our phone, or even putting specific times in our joint calendar.
Having goals for your marriage, just as with any other area of life is important and helps you to keep growing together as a couple.
Do you have any other goals that you plan together with your spouse? If so, please let us know in the comments!